Chapter II

How our Father General came to Avila, and what came of his Visit.

Our Generals always live at Rome, and none of them had ever come to Spain¹, so it seemed impossible that one should come now: but as nothing which our Lord wills is impossible, His Majesty appointed that what had never yet been done should be done now. When I knew of it, I was sorry, I think; because as I have already said in the history of the foundation of St Joseph's, that house, for the reason I there gave, is not subject to the Carmelite Friars. I feared two things: first, that he would be angry with me, and reasonably so, not knowing how everything had come about; next, that he might order me to return to the monastery of the Incarnation, which keeps the mitigated Rule. This would have been a distress to me, for several reasons which I need not give. One will suffice, which is that there I could not keep the strictness of the primitive Rule, and that there are more than a hundred and fifty Sisters there; and certainly when there are fewer, there is more order and quiet.

Our Lord ordered these things for me better than I thought: for the General is so great a servant of God and so wise and learned that he considered it a good work, and in no respect did he shew himself displeased with me. His² name is Fray Juan Bautista Rubeo de Ravenna, and he is a person very highly thought of in the Order, and justly so.

Well, when he arrived at Avila, I got him to come to St Joseph's; and the Bishop thought good that all honour should be shewn to him, as if it had been to himself. I gave him an account of everything with all sincerity and simplicity; for it is natural to me to deal thus with Superiors, come what may, since they stand in the place of God, and with confessors too; and I should not feel iny soul safe, if not. And so I gave him an account of my soul, and almost of my whole life, very bad though that is. He comforted me much, and assured me that he would not order me to leave St Joseph's. It gave him pleasure to see our way of living, a copy, however imperfect, of the early days of our Order; and to see that the primitive Rule was kept in all its strictness. (For in the whole Order there was not another house where they kept this and not the mitigated Rule.) He desired that this beginning should go forward; and so he gave me complete licences to found more monasteries, with penalties to prevent any Provincial from hindering me. I did not ask for these; but he understood from what I told him of my manner of praying how great were my desires of doing what I could that some soul might draw nearer to God.

I did not seek for myself these means of service; rather it would have seemed to me absurd: for I saw very well that a poor woman with so little influence as I had could do nothing. But when such desires come to the soul, it is not in its power to put them away. The ardent desire to serve God and the Faith make possible that which according to natural

Provincial Chapter in Andalusia, and then went on to Castile. Fray Alonso Gonzalez was appointed Provincial, Fray Angel de Salazar remaining Prior at Avila. reasoning is impossible. And so when I saw our Reverend General's great wish that more convents should be founded, I seemed to see them already established; for, remembering the words which our Lord had said to me, I saw now some beginning of what up till then I could not understand.

I felt it very much when I saw our General returning to Rome. I had conceived a great affection for him, and I seemed to be left very desolate. He shewed me the greatest affection, and much kindness; and when he could get leisure, he used to come to St Joseph's to treat of spiritual matters, for he was a person to whom the Lord must have given great graces. It was a great comfort to us to listen to him on these subjects.

The Lord Bishop, Don Alvaro de Mendoza, who is always thinking how he can help those whom he sees to be desirous of serving God more perfectly, tried, even before the General's departure, to get his leave to have some monasteries of Barefoot Friars of the primitive Rule founded in his diocese. Other people also asked for this. He would have wished to do it; but he met with opposition in the Order, and so, not to stir up strife in the province, he let it drop for the time.

When some days had passed, I reflected how necessary it was, if there were to be convents of nuns, to have Friars also of the same Rule; and seeing how few there were in the province, it seemed as if they were dying out. Commending the matter greatly to our Lord, I wrote to our Father General a letter begging this of him in the best way I could. I gave him reasons why it would be greatly to the service of God, and said that any difficulties which might arise were not serious enough to be a reason for leaving undone so good a work; and I set before him the service he would do to our Lady, to whom he had a great devotion. It must have been she who brought this to pass. He was at Valencia when my letter came into his hands, and thence — as one who desired the stricter observance of the Rule of the Order — he sent me licences to found two monasteries. In order that there might be no opposition, he stipulated for the consent of the present and the late Provincial, which was very difficult to obtain: but now that I saw the chief thing done, I hoped that the Lord would do the rest; and so it was, for by the aid of the Lord Bishop, who made our cause his own, both of them agreed to it.

Well, now that I was encouraged by having the licence, my anxieties increased; for there was no Friar that I knew of in the province who would take up the task, and no secular person willing to make such a beginning. I did nothing but pray to our Lord that at least one person might be stirred up to it. Neither had I a house, nor means to get one. Behold a poor Barefoot nun with no help on any side, except from the Lord, furnished with licences and with good desires, but with no possibility of putting them in practice! But my spirit did not fail, nor my confidence that since the Lord had given the one He would also give the other: indeed all seemed possible to me; and so I began to set to work.

Oh greatness of God! And how Thou shewest Thy power in giving boldness to an ant! And how, 0 my Lord, it is not Thy fault, but the fault of our cowardice and pusillanimity that those who love Thee do not carry out great works! Because we never make resolutions without being full of a thousand fears and human cautiousness, therefore Thou, 0 my God, dost not work Thy wonders and great deeds. Who is more desirous to give, if Thou dost find anyone willing to receive, or who more ready to accept services at Thine own cost! May it please Thy Majesty that I may have done Thee some service, and may I not have a greater account to give for all that I have received. Amen.

Footnotes

1. Two Generals had been to Spain and held Chapters there: Fray Juan Alerio at Barcelona in 1324, and Fray Eaimundo de Grasa at Perpignan in 1354. But these Chapters were only for the Kingdom of Aragon, where the Order of Carmelites was widely extended. ↩

2. The surname Rubeo is latinised from Rossi, after the fashion of the time. He came to Spain in 1566, at the instance of Philip II., and with a Bull of St Pius VI., who had recently come to the Papacy. He held a ↩