Chapter X
Of the Foundation at Valladolid of the Convent of the Conception of our Lady of Carmel.
Four or five months before the foundation of the Convent of St Joseph at Malagon, a young man of noble family who was talking to me said that, if I liked to found a convent at Valladolid, he would be very glad to give me a house of his, with a very large and good garden, which contained a large vineyard, and he would like to give me possession of it at once. It was of considerable value. I accepted it, although I had not quite made up my mind to found a convent there, because it was about a quarter of a league from the town. However, I thought that when once we had taken possession there, we might be able to move into the town. And as he made the offer so spontaneously, I did not like to refuse to carry out his good work or hinder his devotion.
About two months after this, he was taken ill so suddenly that he could not speak nor make his confession clearly, although he made many gestures shewing that he was praying to the Lord for forgiveness. He died very shortly, a long long way off from where I was staying. The Lord told me that his salvation had been in grave peril; but that He had had mercy on him on account of the service he had done to His Mother in giving that house for a convent of her Order: he would be kept in purgatory until the first mass
T. F. 5 was said there; when he would be released. The grievous pains of that soul were so continually borne home to me, that although I was wishing to found a house at Toledo, I gave it up for the time, and made all the haste I could to found at Valladolid as best I might.
I could not be so quick as I wished, because I was unavoidably detained for a good time at St Joseph's at Avila, of which I was in charge, and afterwards at St Joseph's at Medina del Campo, for I travelled that way. There one day while I was in prayer, the Lord told me to make haste, for that soul was in great suffering. So although I was not very well equipped for it, I put it in hand, and entered Valladolid on the Feast of St Lawrence.
But when I saw the house, I was filled with dismay, for I saw it would be foolish to let nuns live there, unless a great deal was spent upon the place. And although it was a very pleasant place, the garden being so delightful, it could not fail to be unhealthy; for it was close to the river. Tired though I was, I had to go to Hear mass at a monastery of our Order, at the entrance of the town: and it was such a long way that it redoubled my distress. For all that, I said nothing to my companions, so as not to discourage them: for, though weak, I had some confidence that the Lord Who had told me what I have said, would make it come right. I sent for workmen in great secrecy, and began to have mud walls built for purposes of enclosure and whatever was necessary.
The ecclesiastic of whom I have spoken, Julian of Avila, was with us, and one1 of the two friars who, as I have said, wished to become Barefoot brothers. He was learning our way of living in these houses. Julian of Avila employed himself in getting the Ordinary's licence, which he had given me good hopes of, before I set out. It could not be accomplished so quickly but that a Sunday came before it was obtained: but we were given leave to have mass said in the room which we had for a chapel; and so it was said for us.
I was very far from imagining that what had been told me of the young man's soul would be accomplished then: for, although I had been told it would be at the first mass, I supposed this meant the mass when the Blessed Sacrament would be reserved. But when the priest came with the Blessed Sacrament in his hands to where we were to communicate, and when I came up to the priest to receive It, I saw in a vision this young man, his face shining and full of joy, with clasped hands, and he thanked me for what I had done to enable him to come out of purgatory, and depart into heaven. And certainly, when I first heard that he was in the way of salvation, I was very far from thinking so, and was in great distress, considering that such a life as his demanded a different kind of death. For, though there was much good in him, he was much mixed up in worldly matters. It is true, he had said to my companions that he continually had death before his mind. It is wonderful what pleasure our Lord takes in any service done to His Mother; and great is His mercy. May He be praised and blessed for all, Who thus rewards with eternal life and glory the poverty of our works, and makes them great though they are worth little.
Well, on the Day of the Assumption of our Lady, the 15th of August, 1568, possession was taken of the convent. We did not stay there long, because we almost all fell ill. There was a lady there, Dona Maria de Mendoza, wife of the Knight Commander Cobos, and mother of the Marquis of Camarasa, a good Christian, and very liberal, as her abundant alms testified. She had done me kindnesses in past times when I had had to do with her, because she was sister to the Bishop of Avila, who helped us much with our first convent, and has done so in all the affairs of the Order. She saw our plight, and that we could not stay there without serious difficulties, because of being too far off for alms, and because of sickness. And, being so charitable, she proposed to us to give that house to her, and she would buy us another: and so she did, one which was worth much more; and she has provided us with all necessaries up to the present time, and so she will do as long as she lives.
On St Blaise's Day we moved into it, with a great procession, amidst the devotion of the people, which is still maintained, because the Lord grants many mercies in that house and has drawn to it souls whose sanctity will be known in His good time to the praise of the Lord Who makes use of such means to advance His works and give blessings to His creatures.
For a very young Sister entered that house who shewed what the world is worth by despising it. And I think good to narrate it here in order to shame those who love the world, and that girls into whose hearts the Lord may put good desires and inspirations may learn from her example to carry them out.
There was at Valladolid a lady named Dona Maria de Acufia, sister of the Count de Buendia, and wife of the Governor2 of Castille. He died, leaving her with one son and two daughters, and very young. She began to lead a life of such sanctity, and bringing up her children so virtuously as to deserve that the Lord should choose them for Himself. I am wrong: she had three daughters. One soon became a nun; another would not marry, but lived a very edifying life with her mother. The son began very early to see what the world was, and to be called by God to the Religious life so strongly that no one was able to put him off. His mother, however, was delighted, and must have helped him much with her prayers to the Lord; although not openly, because of his relations. Indeed, when the Lord chooses a soul for Himself, no creatures can prevail to hinder it. So it happened here: for when by much persuasion they had kept him back for three years, he entered the Company of Jesus. Dona Maria told one of her confessors, who told me, that never in her life had such joy come to her heart as on the day when her son was professed. 0 Lord, what a mercy Thou grantest to those to whom Thou givest such parents, who so truly love their children that they would have them possess their estates and inheritances and riches in that blessed life which has no end! It is a matter deeply to be regretted that the world is so wretched and blind that parents reckon their honour to consist in the continuance of the memorials of their possession of the dunghill of this world's goods, which sooner or later must come to an end — and all temporal things, however lasting, come to an end, and are to be held of no account — and desire to keep up their vanities at the expense of their poor children, and audaciously rob God of souls whom He desires for Himself. And these souls they rob of so great a good that, although there were no eternity in which God invites them to dwell with Him, it would be a great happiness to find themselves free from the weary customs of the world, which are the more wearisome the greater their possessions. Open their eyes, 0 my God. Shew them what their love should be for their children, that they may not deal so ill with them; and that their children may not bring it up against them before God in the last judgement, where, however unwillingly, they will understand what everything is really worth.
As then, God in His mercy drew out of the world Don Antonio de Padilla, the son of Dona Maria de Acuna, at the age of about seventeen, the property came to the eldest daughter, Dona Luisa de Padilla. The Count of Buendia had no children, and Don Antonio inherited his title as well as the governorship of Castille. Since that is not to my point, I will not enter on all that he suffered at the hands of his relations before accomplishing his purpose: those who know what worldly people feel about having an heir to their family will realise this well enough.
0 Jesus Christ our Lord, Son of the Eternal Father, true King of creation, what didst Thou leave in the world for us Thy children to inherit? What hadst Thou, 0 my Lord, but toil and suffering and insult? And even to go through the anguish of death Thou hadst nothing but the hard wood. Surely, 0 my God, we who aspire to be Thy true children and not renounce our inheritance — it does not beseem us to fly from suffering. The arms Thou bearest are five wounds. Ah then, my daughters, this must be our device also if we are to inherit His kingdom. Not with ease, not with pleasures, not with honours, not with riches can we gain that which He purchased with so much blood.
. 0 ye of high birth, for the love of God open your eyes! Mark the true knights of Jesus Christ and the princes of His Church. A St Peter, a St Paul did not take the way which you are taking. Do you think, peradventure, that a new way is to be made for you? Believe it not. See how our Lord began shewing you the way through people so youthful as those of whom we are now speaking. Don Antonio I have sometimes seen and spoken with: he would gladly have had greater possessions in order to renounce them. Blessed youth and blessed damsel, who, at an age at which the world is used to ruling over those who dwell in it, were counted worthy by God of grace to reject it! Blessed is He Who so abundantly wrought in them!
When, then, the family honours devolved on the elder daughter, she cared as little for them as her brother: for from a child she had been so much given to prayer, through which our Lord gives light to know the truth, that she esteemed it all as lightly as her brother. Alas, my God, what difficulties and vexations and law suits and even risk of life and honour many would have gone through for the succession to this inheritance! But these two went through not a little to gain permission to renounce it. Such is this world; it would shew us its own absurdities plainly enough, if we were not blind. With a very good will, that she might be left free from this, inheritance, did she renounce it in favour of her sister, who was about ten or eleven: for there was no other heir. Her relations, in order that their wretched family name might not perish, immediately arranged to marry the little girl to an uncle, brother of her father; and they got a dispensation from the sovereign Pontiff, and betrothed them.
It was not our Lord's pleasure that the daughter of such a mother and the sister of such a brother and sisters should remain more mistaken than they were; and thus what I am about to relate came to pass. The child had begun to take pleasure in her worldly dress and adornments, which would naturally please one of her tender years: but in less than two months after her betrothal, our Lord began to give her light, although at the time she did not understand it. Having spent a day very happily with her betrothed, whom she cared for with an affection beyond her years, a great sadness came over her on considering that as this day had come to an end, so would every day. Oh, how great is God! From the very pleasure which the pleasures of perishing things gave her, she was led to turn against them. She began to experience a sadness so deep that she could not conceal it from her betrothed; nor did she know whence it arose, nor what to tell him about it, although he questioned her.
At that time her betrothed had to take a journey which obliged him to go very far away; and she felt it keenly, because she cared for him so much. But suddenly our Lord revealed to her the cause of her sadness, which was that her soul was attracted to that which has no ending; and she began to reflect that her brother and sister had taken the safer course, and had left her amid the perils of the world. This on the one hand; and on the other hand the thought that there was no help for it — for she did not know until later, when she made enquiries, that it was possible for her, although betrothed, to become a nun — this kept her in sadness; and above all, the affection which she had for her betrothed kept her undecided; and so she went on sorrowfully. But as our Lord had chosen her for Himself, He kept lessening this affection and increasing her desire of giving up all.
At that time she was only moved by the desire to save her soul and to find out the best means for this; for she thought that if she were more immersed in worldly things, she might forget to seek that which is eternal. At this tender age God imbued her with wisdom to seek how she might gain that which has no end. Happy soul, so early to emerge from the darkness in which so many who are old die!
When she saw her heart was at liberty, she resolved to give it entirely to God, and began to speak of it to her sister: for hitherto she had kept silence. Her sister, thinking it a childish fancy, dissuaded her from it, and told her, among other things, that she could very well be saved in the estate of matrimony. The child answered, " Then why did you yourself renounce it? ' And for some time her desire went on increasing, although her mother dared not say anything: but perhaps it was she who, by her holy prayers, was carrying on the conflict.
Footnotes
Chapter 11 of 32