Chapter XXV

Continues the account of the Foundation at Seville, and what took place in moving into a house of the nuns' own.

Nobody could have supposed that in so chief a city as Seville, and with such rich inhabitants, there would be less of the wherewithal for founding than in any other place where I had been. So much less was there that I sometimes thought it would be better for us not to have a convent in that town. I do not know whether it is the climate of the country, but I have always heard say that the devils have a freer hand to tempt us there; which must be given them by God: and thus they set upon me, for I never in my life felt myself more pusillanimous and cowardly than I found myself there; indeed I hardly recognized myself. The trust, indeed, which I am accustomed to put in our Lord did not fail me; but my natural self was so different from what I usually am since I have been occupied in these matters, that I could see that the Lord was partly withdrawing His hand, to remain in His own Being, and that I might see that, if I had possessed courage, it was not my own.

Well, we had been there from the time that I said until a little before Lent, and there was not the slightest prospect of buying a house: neither wherewithal; nor anyone who would be surety for us, as elsewhere. For those who had said so much to the Father, the Apostolic Visitor, about entering the Order, and had begged him to bring nuns, must afterwards have thought our strictness excessive, and more than they could stand: and only one entered, as I shall presently tell. It was already time to send for me to come from Andalusia, because other affairs were presenting themselves here¹. It caused me the greatest distress to leave the nuns without a house; although I saw very well that I was of no use there; for the favour which God shews me here, of having someone to help me in these works, was not shewn me there.

It pleased God that at that moment there came from the Indies one of my brothers, Lorencio de Cepeda, who had been out there thirty-four years: and he took it to heart even more than I that the nuns should remain without a house of their own. He helped us a great deal, particularly in managing to get the house in which they now are. I also at that time urged it much more earnestly on our Lord, beseeching Him not to let me go away without leaving them a house; and I made the Sisters pray for it, and ask it of the glorious St Joseph, and we made many processions and prayers to our Lady. And what with this and with seeing my brother bent on helping us, I began to negotiate about buying certain houses. But when, it seemed, it was just going to be settled, it was all unsettled again.

One day when I was in prayer, beseeching of God that, since they were His spouses and so greatly desired to serve Him, He would give them a house, He said, Let me be; I have heard thee. This left me well content, feeling I had the house already. So it was. His Majesty saved us from buying one with which everybody was satisfied because it was in a good situation: but it was so old and so badly arranged that we should have been buying nothing but the site, and for little less money than the house which they now have. And when it was already settled, and nothing to be done but sign the papers, I was not at all satisfied, feeling that this did not agree with the last words which I had heard in my prayer; because I thought those words meant that we were to be given a good house. And so it proved; for the seller himself, though he was to get a good price for it, made difficulties about signing the papers, although he had promised to do so; and we were able, without any wrong-doing, to get out of the agreement. This was a great mercy; for they would not have finished working at the house during the life time of the Sisters who are there; and they would have had a great deal to do and little wherewithal.

This was greatly due to a servant of God who, almost from the time we first got there, when he heard that we had no mass, came every day to say it for us, although his house was a long way off, and the sun tremendous. His name was Garci Alvarez. He was a very good man, esteemed in the city for his good works, which were the only thing he ever occupied himself with: and if he had been well off, we should have lacked nothing.

As he knew the house well, it seemed to him folly to give so much for it, and so he kept telling us every day, until he succeeded and there was no more talk of it. He and my brother went to see the one in which the nuns now live. They came back saying they liked it very much, and with

T. F. 12 good reason; and our Lord desired it: and in two or three days the papers were signed.

A good deal happened before we got into it: for the tenant was not willing to quit: and the Franciscan friars² living close at hand came at once to require us not on any account to move into it. And if the deeds had not been so securely made, I should have thanked God that they could be annulled; for we found ourselves in peril of paying the price of the house, six thousand ducats, without being able to go into it. The Prioress³ would not have desired this, but rather she thanked God that they could not be annulled: for His Majesty gave to her much more faith and courage than to me, in all that concerned that house. So indeed she has in everything, for she is a great deal better than me.

We were more than a month in this hard case. At last it pleased God that the Prioress and I and two other nuns went in with great fear, one night, so that the friars should not know of it until we had taken possession. The men who went with us said that every shadow they saw they thought was a friar. At daybreak, the good Garci Alvarez, who went with us, said the first mass in it; and so we were left without fear.

0 Jesus, what fears I have been through while taking possession! I reflect that if such great dread is experienced in going not to do harm, but in the service of God, what must it be for those who go to do harm, against God and against their neighbour. I cannot think what profit they can have or what pleasure they can seek, with such a counterpoise.

I had not even my brother there: for he had taken sanctuary, on account of a certain mistake which had been made in the papers, they having been drawn up in such haste, and the convent stood to lose much by it: and as he was surety, they sought to take him to prison; and as he was not a native of the place, it would have given us a great deal of trouble. And so it did even as it was: for he was in difficulties until he had given them a property on which they took security. Afterwards the business went on smoothly: although there was some time wasted in the legal proceedings, that I might have more troubles.

We were enclosed in some rooms on the ground floor: and he spent all the day there with the workmen, and he gave us our food, and so indeed he had done for some time: because, since everyone did not know that it was a convent, as we were in a private house, there was but little alms, except from a saintly old man, a great servant of God, who was Prior of the Carthusian monastery of Las Cuevas. He was one of the Pantojas of Avila. God put into his heart a great affection for us from the time we went there; and I believe he will go on doing us good in every possible way so long as his life lasts. Because it is right, my daughters, that you should commend to God anyone who has so greatly helped us, if you should read this, be they living or dead, I set it down here. We owe much to that saintly man.

This went on, I think, more than a month: but my memory is bad in the matter of time, so I may be wrong: always understand that it may be a little more or less; for it is of no importance. During this month my brother worked hard in making a chapel out of some rooms, and in so fitting it all up that after he had finished we had nothing more to do. I wanted to have the Blessed Sacrament reserved very quietly, because I do not at all like giving trouble when it can be helped; and so I told Father Garci Alvarez. He talked it over with the Prior of Las Cuevas, — for they were quite as anxious about our affairs as if they had been their own; and they thought that this could not be allowed, but that it must be done solemnly, in order that the convent might become known in Seville. So they went to the Archbishop. Between them all they agreed that the Blessed Sacrament should be brought from a parish church with great solemnity; and the Archbishop ordered the clergy to take part in it, and some Confraternities, and the streets to be decorated.

The good Garci Alvarez decorated our cloister, which, as I have said, served at that time as a passage, and the chapel most elaborately, with very fine altars and devices. Among them was a fountain of orange-flower-water. This he made without our seeking or even liking it, although afterwards we were much edified. And we were rejoiced to see our festival ordered with such solemnity, and the streets so decorated and so many instruments of music and minstrels that the saintly Prior of Las Cuevas told me that he had never seen the like at Seville; and it was clearly seen to be the work of God. He himself went in the procession, contrary to his custom⁴. The Archbishop set the Blessed Sacrament in its place. You see here, my daughters, the poor Barefoot Carmelites honoured by everyone, when a little time before it would have seemed there was not even water for them — although there is plenty in that river. It was quite extraordinary, the number of people who came.

One thing happened which all who saw it say is worth noting. Although there had been so many salvoes of artillery and rockets, yet after the procession was over, which was about dusk, it came into their heads to let off more, or somehow it happened that a little powder took fire — and they think it a great wonder that it did not kill the man who was holding it. A great flame rose up to the roof of the cloister, the arches of which were covered with silks, which they thought must have been burnt to ashes; but though they were yellow and crimson, it did them no damage whatever. And the wonderful thing which I have to tell you is that the stone of the arches, underneath the silk, was blackened by the smoke, while the silk which was over it was just as if the fire had not been near it. Everyone was astonished when they saw it: and the nuns thanked the Lord, for we had no money to pay for more silk. The devil must have been so enraged at the solemn festival which had taken place, and at seeing another house of God, that he must have wanted to revenge himself somehow; but His Majesty did not give place to him. May He be blessed for ever and ever! Amen.

Footnotes

1. [At Toledo. She had been ordered to leave Andalusia and to remain, as she says, "as a sort of prisoner," in any convent she chose, in Castille, until further orders. Tr.j ↩

2. The Canon law forbids the establishing of new monasteries close to old ones, for very good reasons. ↩

3. Maria de San José of Molina. She was a very able woman. St Theresa had a very high opinion of her: and from this year onwards she carried on a copious correspondence with her. ↩

4. Carthusians, being bound to a solitary and retired life, do not take part in processions. ↩