Chapter XIV

Continues the account of the first Foundation of friars: and tells something of the life which they lead there, and of the good work which our Lord began in those parts; to the honour and glory of God.

Since I had won over the wills of these two, I felt as if nothing was now lacking. We arranged that Fray Juan of the Cross should go to the house and get it ready so that they might get into it somehow; for I was in a great hurry for them to begin, because I was much afraid that something might happen to hinder us: and so he did. Father Fray Antonio had already collected some of what was necessary. We helped him as we could, but that was not much. He came to speak to me at Valladolid, very happy, and told me what he had got. It was very little. Only with hour-glasses was he well provided: for he was taking five, to my great amusement. He said he did not like to go without the means of keeping the appointed Hours. I do not believe he had got anything to sleep on.

There was little time spent in furnishing the house because, however much they might have wished to do, he had no money. When he had done, Father Fray Antonio resigned his Priorship and promised to observe the primitive Rule: for, although they advised him to make trial of it first, he would not. He went off to his little house with the greatest content in the world: Fray Juan was already there.

Father Fray Antonio has told me that when he came in sight of the little place it gave him a great inner joy: it seemed to him that he had already done with the world, in leaving all and stationing himself in that solitude. Neither one nor the other of them felt the house uncomfortable; but rather they seemed to themselves to be living very pleasantly.

Oh, valaine Dios, how little difference these edifices and luxuries make to one's mind! For the love of Him I beseech you, my Sisters and Fathers, never leave off being very circumspect in this matter of large and sumptuous houses: let us keep before us the example of our true founders, those holy fathers from whom we are descended: for we know that by that road of poverty and humility they attained to the fruition of God. Truly I have seen more ardour and also more inward joy where bodily conveniences have seemed to be wanting than later when these had been acquired and a large house. What good does its size do us when one cell is all that we habitually use? What can it matter to us that it should be spacious and well built? Nothing: for we are not to spend our time gazing at the walls. If we consider that it is not an everlasting habitation, but is only for the short span of this life at its longest, it will be good enough for us; seeing that the less we possess here, the more joy we shall have there in that eternity, where according to the love with which we have imitated the life of our good Jesus will our mansions be. Since we say that these beginnings are meant to reform the Rule of His mother the Virgin, our Lady and Protectress, let us not do to her, nor to our holy fathers who have gone before, so great a wrong as to fail to live after their pattern. And although, through our weakness, we cannot do so in everything, yet in things which neither make nor mar health, we must be very careful; for at the most it is only a little bit of pleasant toil, as those two Fathers found it: and when we have once made up our mind to go through it, the difficulty is over; for all the hardship is only a little at the beginning.

On the first or second Sunday of Advent in the year 1568 — I do not remember which of these Sundays it was — the first mass was said in that little porch of Bethlehem — for I think it was no better. In the following Lent, when I was going to the foundation of Toledo, I went that way. I arrived one morning. Father Fray Antonio of Jesus was cleaning out the doorway of the chapel with the happy face which he always has. I said to him, "How is this, Father? What has become of your dignity?" He answered, telling me his great happiness, in these words, "I execrate the time when I possessed it."

As I entered the chapel, I stood amazed to see the spirit which the Lord had inspired there: and not only I, but two merchants, friends of mine, who had come with me from Medina, did nothing but shed tears. There were so many crosses, so many skulls! I shall never forget a small wooden cross there was for holy water, which had fastened to it a paper image of Christ which seemed to excite more devotion than if it had been of the finest workmanship. The Office choir was the garret, half of which was lofty enough for standing to say the Hours: but they had to stoop a great deal to enter it and to hear mass. They had made at the two extreme corners next the chapel two hermitages, where they could only be prostrate or sitting: these were filled with hay, because the place was very cold and the roof was close over their heads; they had two openings facing the altar; and two stones to rest their heads on: and there were their crosses and skulls. I found that when Matins was finished they did not go away again before Prime, but remained there in prayer, so absorbed in it that sometimes when they returned to their places for Prime their habits were covered with snow, and they had not noticed it.

They said the Hours with another Father of the unreformed Rule, who went with them to live there but did not change his habit because he was very delicate; and with another young Brother, not in orders, who lived there also. They used to go to preach at many neighbouring places which were destitute of any teaching: and that was another reason why I was pleased that the house should have been founded in that place; for they told me that there was no monastery near, nor any means of maintaining one, which was a great pity. In so short a time they had gained such great esteem that it gave me the greatest joy when I heard of it. They used to go, as I said, to preach a league and a half or two leagues off, barefoot — for at that time they wore no sandals, although they were afterwards made to wear them — and in much snow and frost; and when they had preached and heard confessions, they returned home to their meal very late. They were so happy that they minded all this very little. Of food they had plenty, for the people of the neighbourhood provided them with more than they needed; and some gentlemen who lived in those parts and came to them for confession, offered them better houses and situations.

Among these was one Don Luis of Cinco Villas. This gentleman had built a chapel for a picture of our Lady, which was indeed worthy of veneration. His father had sent it from Flanders by the hand of a merchant to his grandmother or mother, I forget which. He liked it so much that he kept it for himself many years; and then, at the hour of death, he directed that it should be placed in a great altar piece, one of the finest things that I have ever seen in my life — and many other people say the same. Father Fray Antonio of Jesus, when, at Don Luis' request, he went to the place and saw the picture, liked it so much— and quite rightly — that he consented to move the monastery to Mancera (that was the name of the place), although there was no well-water there, nor did there appear any possibility of obtaining it. Don Luis built them a monastery, a small one, agreeably to their Rule; and fitted it up. He did it very nicely.

I cannot refrain from telling how the Lord gave them water; for it was considered a miracle. One day after supper, when Father Fray Antonio was in the cloister with his Brothers, and they were talking about their need of water, the Prior rose and took up a staff, and carried it in his hands, and he made the sign of the cross over it, I think; but I do not remember for certain whether he made the cross. Anyhow, he made a sign with the staff and said, "Now dig here": and when they had dug a very little depth there issued forth a spring so abundant that it is difficult to get rid of it when the well has to be cleaned, and it is inexhaustible; and it is very good drinking water. They use it for every purpose, and, as I said, it never fails. Afterwards when they had enclosed a garden, they tried to obtain water in it, and made a well, and spent a great deal; but up to the present time they have found none worth speaking of.

Well, when I saw that little house, in which, only a short time before, one could not have remained, now full of such a spirit that, whichever way I looked, I found something to edify me; and when I learned what manner of life theirs was, and their mortification and prayer and the good example they set (for a gentleman and his wife whom I knew, who lived near, came to see me there, and could not say enough of their saintliness and the good which they did in those villages) — when I learned this, I could not sufficiently thank our Lord, and I felt within me the greatest rejoicing; because I thought I saw initiated a beginning which would be to the great good of our Order and to the service of our Lord. May it please His Majesty to carry it on as it is now going on, and my

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anticipation will indeed come true. The merchants who had gone with me told me that they would not have missed going for all the world. What a thing virtue is, that such poverty gave them more pleasure than all the wealth they possessed, and satisfied them and rejoiced their soul!

The Fathers and I discussed several matters. In particular, I, being weak and worthless, besought them not to be so severe in their penance; for they carried it to extremes. And I told them that I had spent much earnest desire and prayer on the work, that the Lord would send me some one to begin it; and that now I saw so good a beginning, I feared that the devil was seeking to kill them before that which I hoped for was effected. Being faulty and of little faith, I did not sufficiently consider that it was God's work, and therefore His Majesty would see to carrying it on. The Fathers, as they had those qualities which were lacking in me, paid little attention to my advice to give up their exercises. So I departed in the very greatest joy; although I did not give God worthy thanks for mercies so signal. May it please His Majesty that, in His goodness, I may be worthy to do Him some service for all that I owe Him! Amen. For I well understood that this was a much greater favour than that which He had granted me in enabling me to found convents of nuns.