Chapter XXXI
Of the Foundation of the glorious St Joseph of St Anne's, at Burgos. The first mass was said on April 19th within the Octave of Easter Day, 1582.
More than six years before this time, certain people who had long been professed in the Company of Jesus, very religious, learned and spiritual, had said to me that it would be greatly to the service of our Lord if there were a house of our holy Order at Burgos; and they gave me certain reasons which moved me to desire it. What with the many troubles of the Order and with other foundations, I had had no opportunity of carrying it out. While I was at Valladolid in the year 1580, the Archbishop of Burgos1 passed that way. He had been Bishop of the Canaries, and now had been given this archbishopric, and was on his way to it.
I have before spoken of the Bishop of Palencia, Don Alvaro de Mendoza, and all he has done for our Order: that he was the first to accept the Convent of St Joseph at Avila, he being Bishop then; and that ever since then, he has shewn us great kindness, making the interests of the Order his own, especially those which I have commended to him. I begged him to ask the Archbishop's leave to make a foundation at Burgos, and he very willingly consented; because, as he believes that our Lord is served in our houses, he is much pleased when any is founded. The Archbishop would not come into Valladolid, but lodged at the monastery of San Geronimo, where the Bishop of Palencia entertained him sumptuously, and went to dine with him and give him a girdle2 or some such ceremony, which was to make him Bishop. There he asked him for the licence to found the convent. He said he would grant it most willingly; for indeed he would have liked to have one in the Canaries, and he was wanting to get one founded, because he knew how well our Lord was served in them, for he came from a place where there was one, and he knew me well3. So the Bishop told me that as he was so delighted to have the foundation, we were not to wait for the licence: this could be considered as already granted, since the Council4 did not specify that it was to be in writing, but only that it was to be with the Bishop's consent.
In iny account of the previous foundation at Palencia I have spoken of the great repugnance I had at that time for making foundations, because I had been so ill that I was not thought likely to live, and was not yet recovered. This, however, is not my wont when I see that something is to the service of God: so I do not understand the reason of such unwillingness as I then felt. If it had been for want of means, I have had less in making other foundations. To my thinking, now that I have seen the sequel, it was the devil's doing. And so it has regularly happened that every time ,1 was to have difficulties in making a foundation, our Lord, knowing what a poor creature I am, has helped me by words and by deeds. I sometimes think over it — how in some foundations in which there were no difficulties, His Majesty apprised me of nothing. So it was in this one, that, as He knew what I should have to go through, He began to inspirit me from the first. May He be praised for all! So it was here — as I have said in my account of the foundation at Palencia, which was arranged at the same time — for as though reproving me, He said, What was I afraid of? When had He ever failed me? "I am the same: do not fail to make these two foundations." I have before spoken of the courage which such words infused into me, so I need not speak of it again. All my sloth at once vanished: which shewed that the cause of it was not infirmity or old age; so I set about making both, as I have said.
It seemed better to make the foundation at Palencia first, as it was nearer, and because the weather was so severe and Burgos so cold, and also to please the good Bishop of Palencia; and so this was done, as I have said. And since, while I was there, the opportunity for founding a convent at Soria presented itself, it seemed best to go there first, as everything was made ready for us; and thence to go on to Burgos.
I begged the Bishop of Palencia, and he thought it right, to keep the Archbishop informed of what was going on; so after I had gone to Soria, he sent a Canon, Juan Alonso, to the Archbishop, for this and no other purpose. The Archbishop wrote to me that he was affectionately desirous of my coming, and had talked over it with the Canon and was writing to his Lordship, putting himself into his hands; that he was acting in this way because he knew Burgos, and that I should need the town's consent to come in. The practical outcome was that I was to go there and treat first with the city; and if the city refused leave, that should not tie his hands to hinder him from giving it; that he was there at the first foundation at Avila and remembered the great commotion and opposition there had been, and so he wished to prevent the like here: that it would not be fitting to found the convent except with the consent of the city, unless it were endowed — a condition which he mentioned because it was not one which I liked5.
The Bishop naturally considered the thing settled when the Archbishop said I was to go there, so he sent to tell me to go. But to me there seemed a certain lack of courage in the Archbishop; and I wrote thanking him for his kindness to me, but saying that it seemed to me worse to make the foundation against the will of the city than to do so without telling them, and would bring more trouble upon his Lordship. I seem to have divined how little we could expect from him if there should be any opposition to my getting the licence: and I thought there would be difficulty in getting it because of the contrary opinions there usually are in such matters. I wrote also to the Bishop of Palencia begging him to let the matter stand over for the present, there being so little of the summer left, and I being too unwell to stay in so cold a part of the country. I did not mention my doubts of the Archbishop, because he was already vexed at his having made difficulties after having shewed such eagerness for it; and I did not want to sow discord, as they were friends. So I went off from Soria to Avila, without any idea at the time that I should have to go so soon to Burgos. And for certain reasons it was very necessary that I should go to St Joseph's6.
There was at Burgos a saintly widow, Catalina de Tolosa, a Biscayan by birth, whose virtues would take me a long time to tell, so great were her austerities and her devotions, her alms and charity, so good her understanding and courage. She had placed two daughters as nuns in the Convent of Our Lady of the Conception at Valladolid, I think four years before this, and had just placed two more at Palencia; for she was waiting until that house was founded, and brought them there before I departed. All four have turned out as children brought up by such a mother, like angels. She gave them good dowries and everything very perfect, for she herself is so, and all that she does is handsomely done, and she can make it so, for she is rich.
When I went to Palencia, we considered the Archbishop's licence so certain that there seemed no need for cautious delay: so I asked her to get me a hired house to take possession of, and to put up some gratings and a turn, and put it to my account. It never entered my head that she would spend money of her own, but I meant her to lend it. She so much desired the foundation that she was distressed at its standing over; and so, after I had gone to Avila, as I have said, without any thought of making the foundation then, she did not let it rest; but, thinking there was nothing needed but the city's permission, she began, without telling me, to set to work to get it.
Dona Catalina had two neighbours, mother and daughter, great people, and good servants of God, who earnestly desired the foundation. The mother was Dona Maria Manrique. She had a son, Don Alonso de Santo Domingo Manrique, who was a town councillor. Her daughter was called Dona Catalina. These two ladies talked to him about his asking the council's leave. He spoke to Catalina de Tolosa, asking, What means of subsistence should he say we possessed? For
CARMELITE CONVENT AT GRANADA if we had none, the council would not consent. She told him that she would pledge herself (and so she did) to give us a house if we needed one, and our food, and thereupon she gave in a petition signed with her name. Don Alonso went so prudently to work that he got the leave of all the councillors, and went to the Archbishop taking him the written licence.
Directly Dona Catalina had set to work, she wrote to me, saying that she was in treaty about it. I did not take it seriously, knowing how unwilling people are to permit convents founded without endowment; and as I did not know, nor did it enter my head, that she was so binding herself, I thought that much more had to be done. However, one day within the Octave of Martinmas, while I was commending the matter to our Lord, I considered what was to be done if the licence were given. As for going to Burgos myself, that seemed out of the question, considering my infirmities; for, being so chilly as I am, cold is very bad for me: and it seemed rash to set out on so long a journey when I had only just made a journey so trying as that from Soria, of which I have spoken: nor would the Father Provincial allow me to go. I thought the Prioress of Palencia might well go; for, everything being plain and easy, there would be nothing to do.
While I was considering this, and quite decided not to go myself, our Lord said to me the following words, from which I saw that the licence was already granted: Pay no regard to the cold, for I am the true warmth. The devil is putting out all his strength to hinder this foundation; put out all thine on My side, that it may be made; and fail not to go thyself, for great fruit will come of it. This made me change my mind. Although nature sometimes *
hangs back in laborious undertakings, yet my resolution to suffer for our great God never flags: and so I pray Him not to regard the feelings which come from my weakness, but to bid me do whatsoever may please Him, for with His help I shall not fail to carry it out.
There was snow at the time: but what made me most cowardly was my poor health; for, with good health, I think I should have made nothing of it. This was what all alongweighed me down in making this foundation: the cold was so little, at least I felt it so little, that I really think I felt it no more than I did at Toledo. Well did our Lord fulfil His word in this.
Only a few days later the licence was brought me, with letters from Catalina de Tolosa and her friend Dona Catalina, bidding me make great haste, because she was afraid there might be some mischance: for at that very time the Order of the Vitorinos7 had come to make a foundation, and the Carmelites of the Mitigation had been there a long time also trying to make a foundation. The monks of St Basil had come since. And this made a great difficulty; and it was a remarkable thing that so many of us should have come all together at the same time: and yet one could only thank God for the great liberality of the place; for the city gave its consent most willingly, although it was not so prosperous as it was wont. I have always heard the city well spoken of for its liberality; but I did not suppose it would come to so much as this. Some were in favour of one Order, some of another. But the Archbishop, considering all the difficulties it might cause, hindered it8, thinking that it might be doing a wrong to the existing Houses which were without endowment, taking away their means of support. Perhaps these themselves had made representations to him, or it may have been suggested by the devil in order to prevent the great good which God works in places to which He brings many monasteries: for He is able to maintain many as easily as few.
This, then, was the reason why those saintly women hurried me on: and, if I had done as I pleased, I should have started immediately, only I had other business to do: for I considered how much more I was bound not to miss an opportunity for myself than those whom I saw to be so zealous.
The words which I had heard apprised me that there would be great opposition. I could not tell from whom, nor wherefore: for Catalina de Tolosa had already written to me that she had secured the house in which she was living for us to take possession of; the city had agreed, and the Archbishop also. I could not imagine from whom the opposition was to come which the demons were going to raise: yet I did not doubt that the words I had heard were from God. But God gives more light to Superiors: for when I wrote to the Father Provincial about going to Burgos on account of what had been said to me, he did not forbid me, but he asked whether I had the Archbishop's licence in writing. I answered that they had written to me from Burgos saying that they had arranged with him; and that the city's licence had been obtained and the Archbishop was satisfied with it: this together with all that he had said about the affair, seemed to leave no doubt.
The Father Provincial was pleased to go with us to this foundation. This must have been partly because he was disengaged at the time; for he had just finished preaching in Advent, and he had to visit the Convent at Soria, which he had not seen since its foundation, and this was not much out of his way. Partly it was to look after my health on the journey, the weather being so bad, and I so old and infirm, and my life seeming to them of some consequence. And this was certainly God's ordering: for they were such roads, with a great deal of water out, that it was quite necessary that he and his companions should go on ahead to see where we could pass, and to help to get the carts out of bogs, especially on the way from Palencia to Burgos. It was really foolhardy to set out from Palencia when we did. It is true that our Lord had said to me that we could very well go, that I need not fear, for He would be with us. I did not tell this to the Father Provincial at the time; but to me it gave assurance in the great difficulties and dangers which we met with. Especially at a certain crossing near Burgos called The Pontoons, where, on account of the frequent floods, the water was out so high that the passage could not be seen nor guessed at: nothing but water; and on either side of the road it was very deep. Indeed it is very rash to go that way, especially with carts, with which, if they go but a little to one side, it is all over with them; and accordingly one of ours did get into danger. From a wayside inn before we came to this place we took a guide who knew the passage; but it certainly is very dangerous.
Then the inns I9 For we could not go a full day's journey .-
because of the bad state of the roads. It was a quite common thing for the carts to sink into the mud so that they had to take the mules from one cart to help to drag out another.
The Fathers who went with us had a great deal to go through, for we happened to have got drivers who were young and careless. To be travelling with the Father Provincial was a great comfort, for he took care of everything, and was so even tempered that no difficulties seemed to put him out, but what was really serious he made nothing of, so that it seemed of no account. Not at The Pontoons, however: there he was in considerable fear. For to see ourselves go into a world of water without a way or a boat, even though our Lord had given me an assurance, I was not without fear, what then must my companions have felt!
There were eight of us travelling, two who were to return with me, and five who were to remain at Burgos, four choir Sisters and one lay. I do not think I have said who the Father Provincial was: it was Fray Gertfnimo Gracian of the Mother of God, whom I have mentioned elsewhere. I myself was suffering from a very bad sore throat, which I got on the journey to Valladolid, and from continued fever: the pain was so severe that it prevented me from entering as I otherwise should into the amusement of the adventures of the journey. I have the sore throat still; (that is, at the end of June,) not nearly so severe as it was, but still extremely painful. All the nuns enjoyed the journey; because when any danger was past, it was a pleasure to talk over it. It is a great thing to suffer for obedience' sake when anyone, like those nuns, lives under it continually.
In spite of this bad road we arrived at Burgos, passing through a great deal of water which was out near the town. The Father would have us first go to visit the Holy Crucifix10, to commend our undertaking to Him, and to wait for nightfall; for it was early. It was a Thursday, January 26th, the day after the Conversion of St Paul, when we arrived. We came determined to make the foundation immediately, and I took with me several letters from Canon Salinas, of whom I have spoken in my account of the foundation at Palenciaand this foundation cost him no less trouble— and from influential people, earnestly requesting their relations and other friends to help on our undertaking. This they did; for at once, next day, they came to see me, and came as delegates from the City Council, saying that they did not repent of what they had said, but were glad that I had come, and I must see what they could help me in. If we had had any fears, it was about the city's mind, so we thought all was now made smooth: and indeed we had intended before anyone else could know of our coming (but because of the floods no one could well get to the house of the good Catalina de Tolosa) to inform the Archbishop, so that the first mass might be said without delay, as is my practice almost everywhere; but because of this it was left undone. We rested that night in great comfort, by the kindness of that saintly woman. But it brought me some suffering: for a great fire was made for us to dry our things; and although it was in a chimney, it did me so much harm that next day I could not raise my head, so that I had to talk lying down to those who came to see me. I spoke through a grated window, over which we stretched a curtain. As it was a day when I was absolutely obliged to transact business, it was very uncomfortable for me.
Early next morning the Father Provincial went to the Most Illustrious to ask his blessing; for we thought that was all there was to be done. He found him perturbed and angry at my having come without his licence, as if he had never told me to come nor had anything to do with the matter. So he spoke to the Father Provincial very angrily about me. He admitted indeed that he had bid me come, but said that he only meant me to come alone to make arrangements; but to come with so many nuns, God deliver us from the annoyance it gave him! It was of no use telling him that the matter was already arranged with the city, as he had required; that there was nothing left to be done but make the foundation; nor that, when I had asked the Bishop of Palencia whether it would be right to come without first informing his Lordship, he had said there was no need, as he had already said he wished it. It had taken place thus, because God willed that the house should be founded: and so the Archbishop himself has since said; because if we had plainly told him we were coming, he would have forbidden it. Thereupon he dismissed the Father Provincial, saying that unless we had an endowment and a house of our own he would on no account give the licence, and we might as well go back. Pretty roads indeed, and lovely weather for it!
0 my Lord, when anyone has done Thee some service, how certain it is to be at once repaid with a heavy cross! And what a precious reward it is to those who truly love Thee, if at once it is given us to realise its value! But at that time we did not welcome our gain, because it seemed to
T. F. 17 make everything impossible; for the Archbishop said besides that the endowment and purchase-money were not to be drawn from any dowry the nuns might bring us. Then, as such a thing was not to be thought of in these present days, there was clearly nothing to be done. I however did not think so: because I remained assured that all was for the best, and only devices of the devil to hinder us, but that God would make His work succeed.
Upon this the Provincial came away in very good spirits, and not discomposed. God so ordained it, causing him not to be angry with me for not having obtained the licence in writing, as he had asked.
There had been with me some of the friends to whom, as I have said, Canon Salinas had written. They and his relations came at once, and they resolved that the Archbishop's leave should be asked to have mass said in our house, so that we need not go through the streets, for they were deep in mud, and it was not fitting for Barefoot nuns to go. In our house, too, there was a suitable room, which had been the chapel of the Company of Jesus when first they came to Burgos, where they had been more than ten years; and this being the case, we thought there was nothing against our taking possession there until we had a house of our own. Never could the Archbishop be prevailed upon to let us hear mass there, although two Canons went to beg it of him. All that we obtained from him was that, when we had got the endowment, we might make the foundation there until we had bought a house; and for the purchase of the house we were to give sureties, and that we were not to move from where we were.
The sureties we found at once: for Canon Salinas' friends volunteered that; and Catalina de Tolosa to give the endowment. In the discussion of ways and means, more than three weeks must have gone by, and there were we not hearing mass except very early on festivals, and I with a fever and very unwell. However, Catalina de Tolosa took such care of us that I was in great comfort; and she gave all of us our meals during that month, in an apartment which we had to ourselves, with as good a will as if she had been the mother of every one of us. The Father Provincial and his companions stayed in the house of a college friend of his, Doctor Manso, who was a Canon preacher of the Cathedral. It was a great annoyance to him to be detained there so long, yet he did not see how he could leave us.
Well, when the sureties and the endowment had been arranged for, the Archbishop told us to put it into the hands of his Vicar-general, that it might be settled at once. The devil must have got at him: for when all had been thoroughly gone into, and we thought there could be no further cause of delay, having spent about a month in getting the Archbishop to be satisfied with what we were doing, the Vicar-general sent me a memorandum saying that the licence would not be given until we had a house of our own; that the Archbishop did not like us to make the foundation in the house we were in, because it was damp and in a noisy street; and all sorts of rigmaroles about the securities of the property and other such things, just as if the negotiations were only just beginning: there was to be no more discussion; and the house must be to the satisfaction of the Archbishop.
Strongly roused was the Father Provincial's feeling when he heard this, and so with us all: for everyone knows that it must be a long business to buy a place for a convent; and it distressed him to see us going out to hear mass. For, though the church was not far off, and we heard mass in a chapel where nobody could see us, yet to His Reverence and to us the turn things had taken was a great distress.
Indeed at that time, I think, he came to the conclusion that we must go away. I could not bear to do this, when I remembered what our Lord had said to me, that I was to do my best to make this foundation for His sake; and I was so confident that it would be accomplished that these things hardly distressed me, only I was grieved for the distress of the Father Provincial, and very sorry that he had come with us, not knowing how much his friends would help us, as I shall soon relate. While I was in this trouble (and my companions also were in great trouble; but I did not mind theirs, but only the Provincial's) our Lord, without my being in prayer, said to me these words, Now, Theresa, stand firm. Upon this, I more earnestly pressed the Father Provincial to go away and leave us: (and His Majesty must have brought this home to him) for it was already near Lent, when he was bound to go and preach.
He and his friends arranged that we should be given certain rooms in the Hospital of the Conception; for the Blessed Sacrament was there, and daily mass: and with this arrangement he was fairly satisfied. However, there was not a little to be gone through in getting this: for a widow in the town had hired one of the best apartments; and although she was not going into it until the half-year, she not only refused to lend it to us, but also was angry because we were given some attic rooms, one of which opened into her quarters. She was not satisfied with locking it from outside, but also had bars put across on the inside. Besides this, the Confraternity imagined that we were going to appropriate the hospital: an absurdity; but God would have us merit more thereby. They made the Father Provincial and me promise before a notary that when we were given notice to quit, we would do so immediately. This I thought the greatest difficulty, because I was afraid of the widow, who was rich and had relations there; lest whenever the fancy took her, she would make us go. The Father Provincial, however, being wiser than I, would have us do whatever they wished, to get in quickly. They only gave us two rooms and a kitchen. But the superintendent of the hospital, Hernando de Matanza, was a great servant of God; and he gave us two more for a parlour, and was most kind to us, as indeed he is to everyone, and he does a great deal for the poor. So also was Francisco de Cuevas, who has a great deal to do with the hospital, and is postmaster of Burgos: he always has shewed us kindness at every opportunity.
I am naming our benefactors in these beginnings, because our nuns present and to come ought to remember them in their prayers. This they owe still more to founders. And, although I never meant Catalina de Tolosa to be one, nor did it enter my head; yet her good life obtained this from our Lord, Who so ordered matters that she is undeniably our foundress. For, let alone paying for the house, which we could not have done, no words can say what the shifts of the Archbishop cost her. For it was a terrible distress to her to think that the foundation might not be made. And she was never weary of doing us good. The hospital was a long way from her house, but almost every day she came to see us most willingly, and sent us all we needed. And because of this people kept continually saying disagreeable things to her, enough to make her give it all up, if she had not been the courageous woman she is. It was a sore grief to me to see all that she went through; for, although she mostly concealed it, she could not always hide it, especially when they appealed to her conscience; for she had so delicate a conscience that, amidst all the great provocations she received from certain people, I never heard from her a word which could offend God, They told her that she was on the way to hell, for how could she, when she had children of her own, act as she was doing? All that she did was with the approval of learned men: for, even if she had wished it, I would not for anything in the world have consented to her doing what she ought not, not for a thousand convents, much less one. But, as the plan we were discussing was kept secret, I am not surprised that people's imagination was the more active. She answered with a prudence which she possesses abundantly, and bore it so well that it shewed God was teaching her the art of pleasing some and putting up with others, and was ^giving her courage, to bear it all. How much more courage for great things havethe servants of God than the highborn people who are not His servants! — Not but that Catalina herself was of the purest descent; for she is very much of a hidalgo11.
Well, to return to what I was saying, when the Father Provincial had found us a place where we could hear mass and be enclosed, he took heart, and went off to Valladolid, where he had to preach, although very unhappy at not seeing in the Archbishop any sign from which we might hope he would give the licence. And though I always maintained he would, he could not believe it, and indeed he had great reasons which I need not tell for thinking as he did: and if he had little hope,, his friends had less, and made him still more disheartened.. It was a real relief to me to see him gone, because, as I have said, my greatest trouble was his.
He left instructions to get a house to have for our own; a
very difficult matter, for up to that time we had not found one which could be bought. Our friends, especially the Father Provincial's, now felt themselves more responsible for our affairs; and they all agreed not to say a word to the Archbishop until we had got a house. The Archbishop always said that he desired the foundation more than anyone; and I believe it: for he is such a good Christian that he would not say it if it were not true. His conduct did not shew it; for he imposed conditions which, to all appearance, we could not possibly fulfil: this was the devil's device to prevent the foundation. But, 0 Lord, how well is it shewn that Thou art mighty! For the very means which he devised to stop it, Thou didst adopt for making it better. Blessed be Thou for ever!
From the Eve of St Matthias, when we went into the hospital, until the Eve of St Joseph, we kept inquiring about this and that house. They all had so many drawbacks that none which was for sale would do for us to buy. I had been told of one belonging to a gentleman which had been for some time for sale: and though so many Orders had been looking for houses, it pleased God that none of them liked it — at which they all are now astonished, and some indeed greatly regret it. One of the two people had mentioned it to me; but so many people had described it as bad that I had quite put it out of my thoughts as unsuitable.
One day when the licentiate Aguiar, one of our Father's friends, was with me, and was telling me about some houses he had seen, — for he was making a careful search for us — and saying there was not one suitable in all the place, — nor did it seem possible to find one, from what they told me — I remembered this one which, as I have said, we had given up thinking of; and it occurred to me that, even if it was as bad as they said, it might serve as a refuge in our need, and we might afterwards sell it; so I asked the licentiate Aguiar if he would do me the kindness of looking at it. He thought this not a bad plan. He had not seen the house; and he chose to go at once, although it was a rough stormy day.
There was a tenant in it who was unwilling that it should be sold and would not shew it him; but he was much pleased with the site and what could be seen of the house, and so we resolved to see about buying it. The gentleman who owned it was not at Burgos, but he had given authority to sell it to an ecclesiastic, a servant of God, into whose heart God put the desire to sell it us, and to deal quite fairly with us. It was agreed that I should go to see it. I was so extremely pleased with it that if they had asked twice as much as what we understood they did, I should have considered it cheap: and that is not saying much, for, two years before, that sum had been offered to the owner, and he would not sell. Immediately on the next day the ecclesiastic came, and the licentiate, who, when he saw what the ecclesiastic was satisfied with, would have wished to conclude the bargain at once. I had told some friends about it, and they had said that, if I gave that, I should be giving five hundred ducats too much. I told him this; but he thought the house was cheap even if I gave as much as was asked. So did I, and that I need not delay, because the house seemed to be almost given away: yet as the money belonged to the Order, I felt some scruple. This meeting took place on the Eve of the glorious St Joseph, before mass: I said we would meet again after mass and settle it. The licentiate is a man of very clear understanding, and he saw plainly that if the thing got abroad, we should find we had to pay much more or not get the house. So he pushed the matter on, and made the ecclesiastic promise to come back after mass.
"We nuns went to commend the matter to God; and He said to me, Art thou holding back for money1? giving me to understand that it was the right house for us. The Sisters had often besought St Joseph that they might have a house by his Day; and, although they had no idea it could be done so quickly, their desire was fulfilled. Everyone urged me to conclude the bargain: and so it was done; for the licentiate met a notary at the door, which seemed providential, and came in with him and said we must settle it, and brought in a witness; and having locked the door of the room, that nobody might know — for that was what he was afraid of — the purchase was effected in all legal security, on the Eve of St Joseph, as I have said, through the energy and intelligence of this kind friend.
Nobody thought it would be sold so cheap: and so when the news began to get abroad, purchasers began to come forward saying that the ecclesiastic who made the bargain had sold it below its value, and that the sale must be set aside because it was a great fraud. The good ecclesiastic had much to bear. It was at once reported to the owners of the house; who were, as I said, a gentleman of considerable position and his wife. But they were so delighted at their house being made into a convent that they gave their approval — though indeed they had no choice. Immediately on the day after, the deeds were executed, and the third part of the price was paid, exactly as the ecclesiastic asked: for in some points of the contract they pressed us unduly, but for his sake we accepted it all.
It may seem to be going out of my way to spend so much time in. narrating the purchase of a house: but really the thing seemed nothing less than a miracle to those who considered it carefully: both the low price, and also that so many members of Religious Orders who had seen it had been blinded so that they did not take it. Those who afterwards saw it were amazed, as if it had not been all the time in Burgos, and blamed them and called them foolish. There was a convent of nuns engaged in seeking a house, and two more: one which had only lately been founded, and one which had come into the city from outside because their house had been burned down. And there was another wealthy person seeking to found a monastery, who had seen this house a little before, and had set it on one side. All these were now bitterly repenting it. The talk in the city was such that we saw clearly how wise the good licentiate had been in keeping it secret and hastening it on: for we may truly say that, under God, it was he who gave us the house. A good head for business is worth much. His is first rate; and God gave him the good will: and so the work was accomplished by means of him.
He spent over a month in helping us and making plans for fitting up the house conveniently and cheaply. It seemed indeed that our Lord must have reserved this house for Himself; for it all seemed almost to have been made on purpose for us. Indeed, directly I saw it, all just as if it had been made for us, it seemed like a dream that it should be done so quickly. Well did our Lord repay us for what we had been through, by bringing us into a paradise — for with its garden, its views, and its water it seems no less. May He be blessed for ever! Amen.
The Archbishop heard of it immediately, and was delighted that all had turned out so well, and put it down to his own obstinacy — and quite rightly. I wrote to him that it gave me great pleasure to hear that it was to his satisfaction, and I would make haste in fitting up the house, so that I might at last gain his gracious permission. At the same time that I thus wrote, I made haste to get into the house; because I was warned that otherwise we should be detained where we were until all sorts of papers were signed. And so, although the tenant was still there, and it took a little time to get him out, we went into a part of it. I was told at once that the Archbishop was very indignant at this. I appeased him as best I might: and being a good man, even if he is angry, it soon passes off. He was angry too, when he heard that we had got gratings and a turn; for he thought it meant that I meant to found, whether or no. I wrote to him saying I did not, but that in a house of enclosed nuns there were always these things: and that I had not even ventured to put up a cross, lest it might have that appearance: which was the truth. With all the goodwill which he shewed, there was no making him willing to grant the licence.
He came to see the house, and was 'much pleased with it, and was very gracious to us, not so gracious, however, as to give us the licence. But he did give us more hope, saying there had to be some papers or other signed between us and Catalina de Tolosa. There were great fears that he would not give it at all: but Doctor Manso, the other friend of the Father Provincial whom I have mentioned, being very intimate with the Archbishop, watched for opportunities of reminding him and persuading him; for it grieved him to see us living as we were living. For even in this house, although there was a chapel which had never been used by the owners for anything but saying mass, the Archbishop would not let us have mass said in the house; on festivals and Sundays we had to go out to hear it at a church which luckily was close at hand. Yet it was about a month, more or less, from the time when we went to the house, to the time when the foundation was made. All the learned men said that there was no valid obstacle. The Archbishop is very learned, and knew this too: so there seems to have been no reason for it but that our Lord wished us to suffer. I, however, did not mind so much; but there was one nun who shook with misery when she found herself in the street12.
We went through not a little in drawing up the deeds; for at one time they were satisfied with sureties, and at another they required the money; and many other such vexatiousnesses. This was not so much the fault of the Archbishop as of a Vicar-general, who fought hard against us; so that if God had not opportunely sent him on a journey, so that his office devolved on another, I think we should never have got through. Oh, what Catalina de Tolosa suffered no words can say! She bore it all with marvellous patience, and never wearied of providing for us. She gave us all the furniture we required for setting up house, beds and many other things, for she had plenty in her house; and even if she went without something in her own house, there was no question of allowing us to go without. Some other women who have founded convents for us have given us much more money; but there is not one to whom it has cost a tenth part of the trouble she had: and if she had had no children, she would have given us all she had to give. But she so earnestly desired to see the thing accomplished that she thought nothing of all she did.
I, when I saw such long delays, wrote to the Bishop of Palencia, begging him to write again to the Archbishop: for he was much put out with him; because he felt all that the Archbishop did against us, as though done to himself. (And what astonished us was that the Archbishop never seemed to think he was doing us the least injury.) I begged him to write again asking him to give his consent, now that we had a house and what he required was done. He sent me, open, such a letter to the Archbishop that if I had forwarded it, all would have been lost for us. So Doctor Manso, who was my confessor and adviser, would not let it go. For, although it was exceedingly courteous, it conveyed certain truths which, considering the Archbishop's temper, were enough to offend him; and so indeed he had been already by certain messages the Bishop had sent him. And they were great friends. And to me he said that, as through the death of our Lord those had been made friends who were not so before, so now through me these two had been made enemies. I answered that by this he might see what sort of a person I was. I had, as I thought, taken special care that they should not fall out. I again entreated the Bishop, pleading the best arguments I could, that he would write another very friendly letter, setting before the Archbishop the service he would be doing to God. He did what I asked, which was no light matter. But more because he saw that it would be to God's service, and it was doing me a kindness — for he has been uniformly kind to me. Finally, he did violence to himself, and he wrote to me saying that all he had done for the Order was nothing to compare with this letter. In short, the letter was such that, together with Doctor Manso's insistence, it made the Archbishop give the licence, and he sent it by the good Hernando de Matanza, who came with no little rejoicing. That day the Sisters had been much sadder than ever, and there had been no consoling the good Catalina de Tolosa, and I myself, who had never been hopeless, had been so the night before. It seemed that our Lord was pleased to give us greater affliction just when He was going to send us joy. Blessed be His Name for ever and praised, world without end! Amen.
The Archbishop gave leave to Doctor Manso to say mass next day, and to reserve the Blessed Sacrament. He said the first mass, and the High Mass was sung by the Father Prior of St Paul's, of the Order of St Dominic, to which, and to the Company of Jesus, our Order has always been greatly indebted. He, the Father Prior, sang it, with great magnificence of musicians, who came of their own accord. All our friends were rejoicing, and so was almost the whole city, for everyone pitied our plight: and they so strongly condemned the Archbishop's conduct that sometimes I minded what I heard said of him more than what I myself was suffering. The joy of the good Catalina de Tolosa and of the Sisters was so great as to move my devotion, and I said to God, " 0 Lord, what other aim have these Thy handmaidens save that of serving Thee and being enclosed for Thy sake in a cloister whence they are never more to go out! "
No one who has not experienced it could believe the fulness of satisfaction we feel in these foundations when at length we find ourselves enclosed where no secular person may enter; for however dearly we may love them, it does not prevent us from being delighted to find ourselves alone. It seems to me like as when a number of fishes are taken out of the river in a net, which cannot live unless they are put back into the water. So it is with souls which are used to living within the flowing waters of their Spouse: when they are drawn out thence and find themselves in the net of worldly affairs, they really do cease to live until they find themselves back again. This I see always in all these Sisters; this I know by experience: that nuns who find in themselves any desire to go out among seculars, or to have much converse with them, may well fear that they have not found that living water of which our Lord spoke to the woman of Samaria; and that the Spouse has hidden Himself from them, seeing that they are not content to dwell with Him. I fear this arises from two causes: either that they have taken upon themselves this estate not for His sake alone; or that since they took it, they have not recognised the greatness of the favour which God has done them in choosing them for Himself, and freeing them from subjection to a human being, who often wears out their life, and pray God he may not destroy their soul too! 0 Thou, Very Man and Very God, Who art my Spouse, is this a favour which can be lightly esteemed! Let us praise Him, my daughters, for having granted it to us; and let us never be weary of praising so great a King and Lord, Who, for a light endurance of hardship surrounded with a thousand joys and lasting but a day, has prepared for us a kingdom without end. Be He blessed for ever! Amen. Amen.
Footnotes
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Don Cristóbal Vela, son of Don Blasco Nunez Vela, Viceroy of Peru. He was appointed Bishop of the Canaries in 1575. •3.* I ↩
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The Metropolitan's pallium. ↩
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For he was of a family of Avila. ↩
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The Council of Trent, Cap. 3. § 25, de Eeform. Kegul. "licentia prius obtenta." ↩
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There is something of ambiguity in these provisions of the Archbishop. They seem to shew that he wished for the foundation, but was not resolutely determined to have it made. ↩
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[The convent had grown slack, and alms had fallen off. The Provincial, Fray Jerome, had just been to visit the convent: the Prioress resigned at once, and the nuns elected St Theresa in her place, " through sheer hunger," she says. Tr.] ↩
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The Minims of St Francis de Paula, who in Spain are commonly called Frailes Vitorios or Frailes de la Victoria, because their coming into Spain coincided with the taking of Granada. CARMELITE CONVENT AT GRANADA ↩
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The Canon law prescribes that monasteries which live by alms are not to be founded without consultation with the Mendicants and other Regulars in the place, to see whether the new foundation would be likely to injure their welfare. ↩
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" They at least are in no way altered — this link, at all events, between now and then is not missing. You can see it any day, the wretched wayside venta, dark as a cave inside, its mud floor trodden into a puddle by the passage in and out of men and beasts. A little straw or dried dung, perhaps, if a little better-to-do, some dried vine-shoots, burn in the midst of the floor, the smoke going out through a hole in the roof. The misery of the roads and weather nothing to the intolerable misery, fleas, and dirt within." Cunninghame Graham, Santa Teresa, vol. ii. p. 349. ↩
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The celebrated Christ of Burgos, which was at that time in the Convent of St Augustine. ↩
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[Hijadalgo: daughter of a somebody; lit. daughter of something. Tr.] ↩
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Not finding any better means of worrying St Theresa, he stipulated that she must get the Nuncio's leave before she had mass said in the Chapel. The Jesuits had had the Blessed Sacrament reserved for fourteen years in the house which St Theresa first occupied; and yet he would not allow her to have mass said there. ↩
Chapter 32 of 32