Lecture 14 — Friends’ Pleasure in Living Together

May we then say that, just as lovers delight especially in seeing the persons they love and prefer this sense to all others because love begins and is preserved by this sense, so friends desire companionship of each other most of all? [1944]

Friendship is, in fact, a partnership. [1946]

And, as a man is to himself, so is he to his friend. But the consciousness of his own existence is desirable, and so also is that of his friend’s existence. Now, the activity of this consciousness takes place in living together—a thing, therefore, they naturally desire. [1947]

Every man wishes to share with his friends whatever constitutes his existence or whatever makes his life worth living. Hence, some drink or play at dice together, while others join in athletic sports or in the study of philosophy, each class taking part in the activity they love best in life. Since they want to live with their friends, they engage in those occupations whose sharing gives them a sense of living together. [1948]

Thus, friendship of evil men is bad; for, being unstable, they associate in wickedness and are made evil by becoming like each other. [1950]

But the friendship of virtuous men is good and is increased by their conversation. Indeed, they seem to become better by working and living together, for they see in each other what is at the same time pleasing to them. Hence the saying “noble deeds from noble men.” So much, then, for our treatment of friendship. Next, we will begin to treat pleasure. [1951]

1944. May we then say that, just as lovers. Now that he has completed the treatise on the number and need of friends, he here inquires about their living together.

He discusses this question in a threefold manner.

First, he proposes the question.

Second, at friendship is (1171b32; [1946]), he indicates the truth.

Third, at thus friendship (1172a8; [1950]), he deduces a corollary from the discussion.

First, he says that living together is based on a likeness of friendship to sensual love, in which we observe that lovers desire most of all to see the persons they love. They prefer this sense, sight, to the other external senses because the passion of love begins especially by seeing—as has been noted [1822–23]—and is preserved by this sense. In fact, this love is stimulated in a particular way by beauty that is perceived by sight.

1945. The question, then, is what in friendship is analogous to seeing? Is it companionship itself? In this way, as lovers delight most in seeing one another, so would friends in living with one another. In a different text, this point is presented not as a question, but as a conclusion. The text reads accordingly, then, as lovers. This can be concluded from what has already been proved [1936, 1943], that the presence of friends is pleasing in all circumstances.

1946. Then, at friendship is (1171b32), he indicates the truth in this question or conclusion by three reasons.

The first is that friendship consists in a partnership, as is clear from our discussion in book 8 [1698, 1702, 1724]. But people share themselves with one another especially by living together. Hence, living together seems to be most proper and pleasing to friendship.

1947. He offers the second reason at and, as a man (1171b33). As a man is to himself, so is he to his friend—this is obvious from previous statements [1797]. But, in reference to himself, a man is so constituted that the consciousness of his own existence is desirable and delightful to him. Therefore, it is also delightful to him to be conscious of his friend’s existence. But this is present in living together, since they are conscious of one another by reason of the mutual activity they perceive. Consequently, friends naturally desire to live together.

1948. He presents the third reason, at every man wishes (1172a1), taken from experience. We see that men wish to share with their friends the activity they most enjoy, the activity that they consider their existence and for which they choose, as it were, ordering their whole life to it.

1949. Consequently, some wish to drink with their friends, others to play together at dice, and yet others to take exercise with them in tournaments, wrestling and so on, or even to hunt or study philosophy together. In this way, each class wishes to remain with his friends in that activity that they love best among all the pursuits of this life. As they want to live with their friends, they mutually engage in occupations of this kind that they greatly enjoy and that they think constitute their whole life. They take part in these activities whose sharing gives them the sense of living together. Thus, it is clear that living together is most desirable in friendship.

1950. Next, at thus, friendship (1172a8), he draw conclusions from the premises about the friendship of good and evil men.

First, concerning evil men, he concludes that their friendship is bad; for they find pleasure in evil deeds most of all and take part in them with one another. Being unstable, they always go from bad to worse, since one becomes evil by imitating the other.

1951. Second, at but the friendship (1172a10), he draws a conclusion concerning the good, that friendship between virtuous men is good and is always increased in goodness by exemplary conversation. Friends become better by working together and loving each other. For one receives from the other an example of virtuous work that is at the same time pleasing to him. Hence, it is proverbial that man adopts noble deeds from noble men.

1952. Finally, he concludes with the epilogue that such is our treatment of friendship and that next we must discuss pleasure [1953–2180]. Thus, he terminates the teaching of book 9.